Katharine Bainbridge

Opening Up To The Heat, Power & Transformation Of The Third Chakra

June 22, 2016 by Katharine

It’s HOT here in Southern California. Two days ago it was nearly 112 degrees! Summer is most definitively upon us.

Do you feel the heat? The energy? The increased activity?

Did you know that summer is a natural yang season? Yang energy is attributed to the masculine principle. This makes great seasonal sense since the masculine principle is, as an archetype, associated with the sun. Yesterday the sun was at the Solstice- the longest time of sunshine in the year. It is said that people actually experience fewer viruses, such as the flu, in the summertime because the “father principle” is so present. Some believe that it is this feeling of “safety” that the sun provides that allows our immune systems to be more robust.

In Chinese medicine, summer belongs to the element of fire. Once again, fire is symbolic of maximum activity or greatest yang, which means this is the time of heat and moving outward in nature and we, naturally, move outward into the world.

This brings me to the importance of the third chakra and why healing and balancing it is necessary in our lives.

The third chakra is located in our solar (sun) plexus. It is associated with our ego identity and the color of this chakra is yellow. The purpose of this chakra is transformation. The basic rights that are attached to the third chakra are those rights that are connected to being able to act and be an individual. As Joseph Campbell said, “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” This is a third chakra statement.

Basic issues of the third chakra are linked to issues surrounding:
Energy
Activity
Autonomy
Authority
Individuation
Will
Self-Esteem
Shame
Our ability to be proactive
and most definitely our POWER!

Remember back when you were a kid. Remember how incredibly independent you felt in the summer time? School was out and it felt that the days lasted forever. Back in the day when children were allowed to roam free in neighborhoods, we played outside until dinner time. Summer was a time of freedom and endless possibility to experience confidence and autonomy.

The developmental formation of the third chakra is the age of 18 months to 4 years old. In this stage of development we are developing autonomy, language, impulse control, mastery of holding on and letting go, toilet training and defining who we feel that we are.

Children at this stage need appropriate discipline, but they also need support in their autonomy. They especially need confidence and encouragement as well as loads of time to PLAY.

When and if we experience trauma in this stage of development we wonder what happened to our power? The theme of “lost power” seems to follow us around. We spend a lot of time wondering how to get our power back. It is natural and healthy to use our life force energy to move forward in our lives. This inclination to use our power in the world is a natural outgrowth of thriving. It is NOT instinctual to curtail our own expansion, even if we are naturally introverted. It is, however, instinctual to protect ourselves if we fear harm. Blockages and damages to this energy center can create situations where we are constantly blocking ourselves from harm when there might not actually be any harm.

If there is a trauma at this stage we may fear authority figures, we may also find the need to punish ourselves when we make even the simplest of mistakes. The third chakra is the chakra when it is blocked or not balanced that easily experiences shame. Shame creates a wedge of fear that blocks us from our own natural expression in the world. If this is true, we may be afraid to venture outward. Afraid of making any mistakes, we won’t venture outward. If we keep ourselves small and limited we never experience the self esteem that comes with the adventure of going “outward” in the world. If there was severe abuse we may even feel as if our will is actually broken. Our self esteem may feel beyond repair. When we feel balanced in this chakra, life is a class room. We never really make a mistake, we only try and fail and learn to try again.

A damaged third chakra shames us for not being perfect- this prevents us from even trying yet again.

When the third chakra is open, it is focused and directed. It the energy becomes excessive we can become dominating or obsessive.

When this chakra is deficient, we may feel weak and aimless.

Sometimes we feel that some of these negative attributes are just “who we are.” This is so far from the truth! You may have some healing to do. In healing this chakra, the energy of fire must be built up slowly. This is possible, fortunately, through exercise and keeping commitment to being in our bodies and sweating-the natural byproduct of producing heat. By tending to the fires of our own desires and goal we stoke the fire of self esteem and mastery. Knowing what to hold and what to let go of allows us to feel powerful. Like toilet training, it is a big deal to let something go and not hold on. This is knowing what to accept and what to reject. We instinctually know, in our gut, what is right and what is wrong. The solar plexus is a network of nerves in our gut. It truly is our second brain.

If we need to stick to plan or routine that increases our feelings of power and control and boosts our self confidence.

A longer piece of therapeutic work may be to confront the debilitating demon of shame.

In any case, summertime is a wonderful time to focus on healing this area in our lives.

I would LOVE to help you heal. Come on in and see me. I am around all summer long. I will be stoking the fires of my own creative self will and finding new and creative ways to exert my power and play in the world! JOIN ME!

Speaking To The Dead

May 11, 2016 by Katharine

12718234_10208431115992584_234637987876445562_n-3

“Let’s do some living after we die..” The Rolling Stones

I have a friend, Sonia. When Sonia was pregnant she, already a very sensitive person, discovered that some very latent psychic abilities began to open up for her. Sonia began to be able to feel other people’s pain. When she felt this pain in her own body, she would then receive images of what, where and why this pain was there for the other person.

She explained to me that this was a brand new phenomenon that definitely coincided with this little being that was growing inside of her own body. Once her son was born, this brand new psychic ability continued to develop. “Well,” she said, “I guess that is is one of the incredible miracles in life.” “I can’t explain it anymore than I can explain the miracle of how a human being can actually grow in my womb, and that this human being will become a man one day.” Amazing, really.

I have another friend who recently witnessed the death of her elderly mother. She said to me, “I can’t explain it. I felt like being with her while she was dying was like witnessing someone being born. The struggle and pain was the same, the breathing was the same and the light, joy and infinite love filling up the room at her last breath felt exactly the same.” She said, “I think that death is just like birth. A miracle”

For me, something similar and horrible and very interesting happened in the last year. The horrible part was that my dear brother, Phillip, was diagnosed with a very rare cancer. I had hoped beyond hope that it could be treated and cured. This was not to be. I watched Phillip suffer as he went through his treatment. The cancer spread. Hope was gone. Phillip died within 7 months of his diagnosis.

I had experienced many, many loses in my lifetime. But this loss was the most devastating for me. Not only was Phillip young, only 48, but also, he was leaving a family behind. To my mind, he was just beginning to live.

Much like my friend Sonia, while Phillip was sick, a sleepy psychic ability began to awaken. While Sonia could feel the pain of another person, I was communicating with the dead.

In my healing work that I do with my patients, I was already able to “see” trauma of ancestors. For me, it is kind of like being able to look at a lit up family tree. I could see ancestor trauma, but this was different. Dead people began to talk to me.

One night while having dinner with my friend Lee, she told me of an old friend of hers whose husband recently committed suicide. I looked over Lee’s shoulder and said, “Ugh, he is right behind you and he wants to explain what happened to him.” I had never directly communicated with the deceased in this direct way before. More and more, if someone had a question about the death of someone close to them-that person showed up- to me, to relay their story.

It would not be unusual for me to wake up at 2:00 am with someone deceased standing next to my bed wanting to give me a message to their living loved ones.

It seemed like the oddest of things. Why when my own brother was dying was I being given a gift that could give comfort to others, while I, myself, remained in the deepest of despair about my own loss? It wasn’t that my brother wasn’t communicating with me after he passed, because he was, but I was not spared from the depths of grief that someone must experience as the price of loving someone so greatly. This was an initiation. I had to walk through it. This was one of the most disorienting and wrenching experiences that I have ever had to meet- this death of my brother.

My grandmother also passed a few days before my brother’s “would be” birthday. I was not sad at her passing. She was nearly 101. I felt relief that she would be with my brother on his “birthday.”

As I am a Buddhist, my Buddhist friends would inquire, “How is it that you are talking to dead people? Don’t they take a rebirth?” All that I can say is that I have NO idea! I have some thoughts- some of those thoughts are far too complicated for the purpose of this blog, but, I know what I know. I know that speaking to the person is exactly the same as speaking to a person who is “here.” {If this is hardly palatable for you, I want you to know that I was going to give a talk about all of this at a National Conference for Jungian Analysts in Santa Fe, but, my brother died two weeks before the conference. I cancelled. Honestly, I was relieved. I felt like he did me a favor. His timing was impeccable.}

I joined a grief group to support my bereavement process. (http://www.ourhouse-grief.org). I felt like a lunatic. How was it that I was helping people resolve their grief by communicating with the dead and yet I couldn’t feel any relief myself? There were/are 8 people in my grief support group. We all feel the same. Our experience of losing someone we love is mirrored in each other’s anguish, bewilderment, isolation, anger, disorientation, lowered immune systems and incredible fatigue. We each share the suffering of the “new normal” that the group feels surrounding the loss of our loved one. Week by week we walk each other through letting go of our “social mask” of “I’m fine, thank you, ” and share what is behind the mask. I have never appreciated the power of group consciousness and collective Basic Goodness as much as I have with the experience of this particular group. We are not different from each other at all. But, I have discovered that grief is some kind of “dirty secret” that no one wants to discuss. It’s no wonder that our culture has become so violent. We are not allowed to feel pain, especially the pain connected to loss.

One meeting in my group, a man said that he had a dream with his deceased mother in it. He asked me if I had dreamt about my brother? “Only dreams that indicate that I am in trauma over his death, nothing else,” I said.

Finally, after about 8 months I had a dream. In the dream I am at a “Grateful Dead” concert with my brother. (He always did have the best sense of humor!) In the dream I realize that I am not dreaming- where I am with him IS real. I am really with him. I say, “Where ARE YOU?? Are you OK? What happens at death? Tell me!” He looks at me nonchalantly and says, “You see that room with the light coming out of it over there? I am there. I am just over there in that other room. It is exactly like before, but another room. I am in that room with others, with Grammy, and I am just pretty busy in there. I am happy.”

I woke up.

I felt better.

I knew that when the dead communicate with me that they are stepping out from this “other room”- that they are with us all along. Besides, which dream is really real? This dream life or that one? Perhaps neither or both.

I am not the only one who communicates with the dead. Most people, if they are honest, will talk about experiences that feel as if the deceased love one is sending them a message somehow: a certain song that plays in the car when you need it most that is significant to the loved one and their relationship with you, a message written in the sand or on the sidewalk or a wall, an object found that symbolizes the loved one, some random text or email that finally finds it way to you after the deceased sent it years ago, a breeze that caresses your cheek out of nowhere, a butterfly that lingers longer than expected and then almost lands right on your nose, something that someone says innocently that is only something the deceased used to say to you. Or, just a certain feeling that comes over your body and into your heart-a knowing that they are fine and you will be ok.

So, you see, you don’t have to be Theresa Caputo (The Long Island Psychic) to receive messages from the dead. You only have to be receptive.

Someone recently gave me an article about the Russian physicist Yury Kronn. The article is about the subtle energy that fills 96% of our existence but cannot be seen or measured. It says, “We live in a 4% world. That’s the world we can see, build, measure, and organize. Then there’s the 96% that we don’t see, but that determines everything…..” Then it says, “Welcome to your new reality.”

If we only use 4% of our perception, then this means that the room my brother is in is a part of the other 96%. Shamans and other investigators of the mind have already known this from the beginning of time. I, for one, am grateful to know about it, to see it, and to hear from the “subtle energies” that reside there. Regardless, the devastation of loss is very real. If we weren’t meant to feel it, we wouldn’t. Grief takes time.

SaveSave

Spring Awakening: Sexuality, Creativity and the Second Chakra

March 22, 2016 by Katharine

Orange-And-Blossoms

Southern California opens up and blooms early. I am quite intoxicated by the fragrant smells and bright colors when the buds begin to bloom. Where I live, orange blossoms fill the air with a staggering perfume.

Orange blossoms make me think of our second chakra.

While practicing energy healing, it is important to see the link between the freedom and expression of our feelings and how this is directly in relationship to a healthy sexual life as well as creative self expression. This is the function of our second chakra. The color is orange and desire is key!

The element of the second chakra is water and its purpose is movement and connection. We have moved from the stability and necessary structure of the first chakra to the fluidity and changeability of feeling, emotions and desires. Changeability is an important word. Our feelings, desires and emotions are definitely fluid. We need to be able to flow with them and be willing to change alongside them. Because, trust me, they will change.

The second chakra is located in the lower abdomen and its identity is emotional.

Issues linked to a block or difficultly in the second chakra might be expressed as rigidity in feeling as well as a severe fear of change or even a lack of desire. Without a sense of desire, we don’t know where to focus our attention. Desire is truly the map of our soul. Without a connection to desire, we don’t know what we want. If we don’t know what we want then we don’t know how to go about getting it. This lack of desire or impulse can leave us feeling flat, dull and depressed.

Second chakra issues are connected to those who deny themselves pleasure in life. Maybe they are afraid to experience the freedom of opening up to pleasure. Second chakra issues do not feel entitled to stop and smell the orange blossoms. Often times, boundaries that are far too rigid to allow for flow in relationships can also be experienced in a second charka issue. This is no way to live.

In working with those who have second chakra issues, I may also experience the opposite- excesses such as sexual acting out or addiction to sex. Overly strong emotions may manifest as those who are addicted to drama or a crisis. A weakening of this chakra may manifest as having poor boundaries and the invasion of other’s private space. Manipulation and obsessive attachments to other people are also found here.

The developmental stage linked with this chakra are the ages from 6 months to 2 years old. It is the developmental task of the sensate exploration of the world and movement. Anyone who has a child knows that it is around this age that the child wants to move to explore the world. There is a desire to begin to explore what one wants to know more about.

What can cause an imbalance to the second chakra? Certainly sexual abuse, emotional abuse, volatile situations such as raging parents, emotional manipulation, physical abuse, alcoholic families as well as inherited issues- parents who have not worked out their own issues around sexuality.

In balancing and healing the second chakra we acknowledge the basic right to FEEL and to HAVE PLEASURE. We can feel entitled to reclaim our birthright which is to feel and allow passion in our lives. What turns us on? What do you desire? These issues are not only sexual- but also how we express ourselves creatively, how we like to dress, what music we like to listen to, what art pleases us and even what we enjoy doing in our leisure time.

When we free the flow of this energy which is essential for growth and change, we transform the fears that separate us from others and the world. Wouldn’t you like to reclaim the intimacy that you long for in your relationships? Wouldn’t you like to end the isolation of feeling alone?

Desire is a spiritual impulse- it is the soul’s longing to move forward. When you think about a baby beginning to move its body- wanting to stand and grab and explore, we are talking about this chakra. This is a beautiful part of our “electrical blueprint!’ We were actually built to desire and it is desire which propels us forward.

If you feel that past trauma is in the way of your connecting to the sensate world and to your desires, Energy Medicine can help you with this!

Come on in for some spring healing. Spring is opening up and I promise so can you.

I will be so happy to see you!

The Problem With Shame

March 13, 2016 by Katharine

2016-02-25 11.08.17

“Confront the dark parts of yourself and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.” – Angus Wilson

I have yet to meet someone in life who has not experienced shame. In the Bible, Adam and Eve experience shame from eating of the forbidden fruit. For each one of us, that “forbidden” fruit is quite varied and different. What is experienced as shameful by one person can seem quite banal to another.

Because I am a Buddhist and not a Christian, I am always quite curious about the Biblical interpretation of this myth that is about “original sin.” I, personally, do not believe there is such a thing. I do not believe that we are “originally sinful.” Instead, I do believe in our own Basic Goodness. Because I believe in Basic Goodness as opposed to the “Basic Badness” of original sin, this makes me ever more compassionate about the experience of shame.

For me, it seems that shame comes with secrets that we keep from ourselves first. Shame then has a way of keeping that secret from others, so, it seems that the intention of shame is to isolate. This is where the bigger problem begins.

We are social creatures. Even if you are the most introverted of people, we need to belong… somewhere. This need to belong is a part of the hard drive in our reptilian brain. To belong, according to this “old brain”, means essentially to survive. The way that shame operates is to separate ourselves from the good inside of ourselves hence keeping us feeling that we are unworthy of being a part of others. We can even scapegoat ourselves. Many people willingly take on the shadow and shame of families and groups as a kind of sacrifice or desire for the family or group to be free of shadow themselves.

I believe that isolation feeds shame thus causing further disconnect from others because of a basic sense of being too unworthy to belong. People who already suffer from low self esteem are usually more than willing to accept the blame and shame of those who seem to be able to discard of their own conscious struggle with shadow.

Shame seems to be hard wired into a sense of what is right and what is wrong. Knowing right from wrong is a basic mark of intelligence and sanity. People who are not able to feel or experience shame, or those who repress the feelings and fear of shame to such an extent that they can become narcissistic or sociopathic are much, much more problematic for me.

Often times when I work with survivors of sexual abuse and trauma, those people need to understand that the guilt and shame that they have been carrying for years actually belongs to the person who used them for their own needs. Logically, it is the perpetrator who needs to feel the consciousness of guilt and shame for violating someone who trusted them. A child has no cause to feel guilt or shame.

This is very hard for survivors to understand.

Because the survivor is often willingly carrying the guilt and shame for the person who abused them, they often tend to isolate their own basic goodness from themselves therefore also from other people. They can become over identified with being “bad”- banishing themselves from a feeling of wellbeing, peace and joy- the “garden” if you will.

Because we all experience shame, to share and expose shame is the first step in healing. But also, we need to put shame where shame belongs. If you are carrying shame for someone else, please begin to put it down.

As a Buddhist, I do not believe that we are ever banished from paradise. This feeling is available to us in as much as hell is available to us in our minds and feelings. So, the Bible does provide certain mythological clues for us- I just see it differently.

How I see it, both Adam and Eve ate this fruit. We are never, ever all alone in our humanity. Many things that we feel shame about have also been experienced by someone else. We share this experience it is never truly isolated.

I wonder, why didn’t Adam and Eve just talk to each other about the desire to taste what was “forbidden” to “break the rules.” Why didn’t the story say that Adam and Eve looked at each other in that moment and said, “OMG! ME, TOO!! I craved the exact same experience. I wanted to try something… I guess that I made a mistake? I am sorry. Please forgive me. I’ll know better next time.”

Also, we have a choice with shame. We can expose it to the light of day and be finished with it or we can use shame to turn away from ourselves and other human beings. This is truly what causes sickness, I believe.

Knowing that we have shame means that we also have a conscious. We can express positive remorse if we have caused harm to another. 12 step programs understand this in step 9- making amends. Part of the human condition is craving.

Craving in Buddhism is a poison or a klesha. We all know it, we all do it, we all live in a human realm where we rarely feel content. Welcome to planet earth. Why wouldn’t we want that fruit? The Universe set it up that way- it comes with the basic blueprint. The fruit existed in as much as both Adam and Eve existed. They were all there together. This is life.

When we liberate what we have hidden in the dark we also set ourselves free. Why? Because again, shames primary function is to isolate us from others. Once again, looking at the myth of Adam and Eve- we see that even from the beginning we are not meant to be alone. We grow from our experiences- that is why we have them. If we become stuck feeling shame we are missing the point.

Shame can be a straight jacket to creativity, to loving well and to seeing and experiencing what is beautiful in the world.

Like a cancer, shame can grow and take over healthy parts of our lives and personalities. What is the treatment? Knowing that you are not alone. Whatever you feel that you have done, there is probably someone out there who has also had your experience.

If you feel that you are carrying the guilt and shame for someone who is not responsible for their own, your life is worth finally laying it down. There are also others who have carried what you carry. Find others, speak to someone, find a group- do what you can to get out of your isolation. You deserve to step out of the shadow, even if it is your own. Life is here to be lived. Don’t allow the problem of shame to separate you from living and loving fully- and that includes the ability to be able to love and appreciate yourself.

Happy {Gentle} New Year!

January 7, 2016 by Katharine

Happiest of New Years wishes to fans and supporters of Holistic Jungian Psychotherapy and Energy Healing.

I sincerely hope that 2016 brings some peace after a rather challenging 2015.

Many people shared with me at the end of the year that 2015 was not an easy ride for them. I heard from a little bird that 2016 is supposed to carry with it some very intense energies of change.
With this in mind, I would like to share with you 10 gentile reminders for easing into a brand new year.

1. Always Be Gentle With Yourself No Matter What.

Times are hard. There is a whole lot going on in the world that is chaotic and frankly terrifying. Being gentle with yourself includes limiting just how much media you are taking in a daily basis and yes, this includes social media. Please remember that the news broadcasts on television make their money by gaining viewers. This means that they must put images and stories out that will capture our attention- much in the same way that a car crash grabs us. Remember, after a certain point, these images are traumatizing. Being gentle means knowing when enough is enough. Turn it off.

2. Prioritize Your Needs To What Is Most Essential.

Do not start off the new year with lists upon lists upon lists of things to do and accomplish. Every day focus on one manageable need and part of those needs should include self care.

3. Let It Be Simple.

This could be your mantra for the year. Post it on your forehead. Life is complicated enough. Where we place our focus adds or takes away from our stress. What IF things could actually be simple? What does that look like for you? Make this focus on simplicity a daily practice.

4. Create Creative Play Time.

Cultures that thrive are ones where individuals spend time creating. Because we live in a materialist society, we feel that what we create needs to be “valuable.” I say, WHO CARES! Remember art class in elementary school? Get out some clay, finger paint, crayons, glue- make a collage. Spend time using your hands and senses away from the keyboard.

5. Allow for change.

Essentially, this means- just get out of the way in your life. Let change happen.

6. Acceptance Is Your Friend and Ally.

What we do not accept we resist. We have a choice. Are there things in your life that would free you up if you just accepted them?

7. Be Clear

Learn to find your yes and your no. Mean it when you say it. Remember, no is a complete sentence. It does not need an explanation.

8. Spend Quality Time In Nature.

20 minutes of walking outside does a wonder for the body, mind and spirit.

9. Forgive Yourself or Someone Else

Forgiveness is never about the other person. It is about creating more space in your own mind and heart for new things to happen. Resentments take up a whole lot of room and they are toxic to our systems.

10. Create Better Boundaries

Are there people, places and things in your life that you know make you sick? A boundary is like a gate. Put them outside of your energy field. You don’t need them. Replace those toxic things or people with those that are energy providing and life giving.

The New Year is a wonderful time to come in for some Energy Healing Work. If you have been wanting a fresh start with issues that have been intractable in the past, this is a perfect time to begin.

Also, for those of you who have gone through all 9 healing sessions with me in the past, remember that tune ups are $250.00 at any time you need to see me.

My private psychotherapy hours are almost filled to capacity. If you or someone you know is looking to enter into a Jungian Analysis, contact me quickly before I am all booked up.

Take things slowly and focus on what is most manageable regarding changes. Sometimes changes happen and we just need to surrender and sometimes we need to put some effort into wanting things to change. Either way, change demands its say. Support is always, always essential.