Katharine Bainbridge

Spring Awakening: Sexuality, Creativity and the Second Chakra

March 22, 2016 by Katharine

Orange-And-Blossoms

Southern California opens up and blooms early. I am quite intoxicated by the fragrant smells and bright colors when the buds begin to bloom. Where I live, orange blossoms fill the air with a staggering perfume.

Orange blossoms make me think of our second chakra.

While practicing energy healing, it is important to see the link between the freedom and expression of our feelings and how this is directly in relationship to a healthy sexual life as well as creative self expression. This is the function of our second chakra. The color is orange and desire is key!

The element of the second chakra is water and its purpose is movement and connection. We have moved from the stability and necessary structure of the first chakra to the fluidity and changeability of feeling, emotions and desires. Changeability is an important word. Our feelings, desires and emotions are definitely fluid. We need to be able to flow with them and be willing to change alongside them. Because, trust me, they will change.

The second chakra is located in the lower abdomen and its identity is emotional.

Issues linked to a block or difficultly in the second chakra might be expressed as rigidity in feeling as well as a severe fear of change or even a lack of desire. Without a sense of desire, we don’t know where to focus our attention. Desire is truly the map of our soul. Without a connection to desire, we don’t know what we want. If we don’t know what we want then we don’t know how to go about getting it. This lack of desire or impulse can leave us feeling flat, dull and depressed.

Second chakra issues are connected to those who deny themselves pleasure in life. Maybe they are afraid to experience the freedom of opening up to pleasure. Second chakra issues do not feel entitled to stop and smell the orange blossoms. Often times, boundaries that are far too rigid to allow for flow in relationships can also be experienced in a second charka issue. This is no way to live.

In working with those who have second chakra issues, I may also experience the opposite- excesses such as sexual acting out or addiction to sex. Overly strong emotions may manifest as those who are addicted to drama or a crisis. A weakening of this chakra may manifest as having poor boundaries and the invasion of other’s private space. Manipulation and obsessive attachments to other people are also found here.

The developmental stage linked with this chakra are the ages from 6 months to 2 years old. It is the developmental task of the sensate exploration of the world and movement. Anyone who has a child knows that it is around this age that the child wants to move to explore the world. There is a desire to begin to explore what one wants to know more about.

What can cause an imbalance to the second chakra? Certainly sexual abuse, emotional abuse, volatile situations such as raging parents, emotional manipulation, physical abuse, alcoholic families as well as inherited issues- parents who have not worked out their own issues around sexuality.

In balancing and healing the second chakra we acknowledge the basic right to FEEL and to HAVE PLEASURE. We can feel entitled to reclaim our birthright which is to feel and allow passion in our lives. What turns us on? What do you desire? These issues are not only sexual- but also how we express ourselves creatively, how we like to dress, what music we like to listen to, what art pleases us and even what we enjoy doing in our leisure time.

When we free the flow of this energy which is essential for growth and change, we transform the fears that separate us from others and the world. Wouldn’t you like to reclaim the intimacy that you long for in your relationships? Wouldn’t you like to end the isolation of feeling alone?

Desire is a spiritual impulse- it is the soul’s longing to move forward. When you think about a baby beginning to move its body- wanting to stand and grab and explore, we are talking about this chakra. This is a beautiful part of our “electrical blueprint!’ We were actually built to desire and it is desire which propels us forward.

If you feel that past trauma is in the way of your connecting to the sensate world and to your desires, Energy Medicine can help you with this!

Come on in for some spring healing. Spring is opening up and I promise so can you.

I will be so happy to see you!

The Problem With Shame

March 13, 2016 by Katharine

2016-02-25 11.08.17

“Confront the dark parts of yourself and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.” – Angus Wilson

I have yet to meet someone in life who has not experienced shame. In the Bible, Adam and Eve experience shame from eating of the forbidden fruit. For each one of us, that “forbidden” fruit is quite varied and different. What is experienced as shameful by one person can seem quite banal to another.

Because I am a Buddhist and not a Christian, I am always quite curious about the Biblical interpretation of this myth that is about “original sin.” I, personally, do not believe there is such a thing. I do not believe that we are “originally sinful.” Instead, I do believe in our own Basic Goodness. Because I believe in Basic Goodness as opposed to the “Basic Badness” of original sin, this makes me ever more compassionate about the experience of shame.

For me, it seems that shame comes with secrets that we keep from ourselves first. Shame then has a way of keeping that secret from others, so, it seems that the intention of shame is to isolate. This is where the bigger problem begins.

We are social creatures. Even if you are the most introverted of people, we need to belong… somewhere. This need to belong is a part of the hard drive in our reptilian brain. To belong, according to this “old brain”, means essentially to survive. The way that shame operates is to separate ourselves from the good inside of ourselves hence keeping us feeling that we are unworthy of being a part of others. We can even scapegoat ourselves. Many people willingly take on the shadow and shame of families and groups as a kind of sacrifice or desire for the family or group to be free of shadow themselves.

I believe that isolation feeds shame thus causing further disconnect from others because of a basic sense of being too unworthy to belong. People who already suffer from low self esteem are usually more than willing to accept the blame and shame of those who seem to be able to discard of their own conscious struggle with shadow.

Shame seems to be hard wired into a sense of what is right and what is wrong. Knowing right from wrong is a basic mark of intelligence and sanity. People who are not able to feel or experience shame, or those who repress the feelings and fear of shame to such an extent that they can become narcissistic or sociopathic are much, much more problematic for me.

Often times when I work with survivors of sexual abuse and trauma, those people need to understand that the guilt and shame that they have been carrying for years actually belongs to the person who used them for their own needs. Logically, it is the perpetrator who needs to feel the consciousness of guilt and shame for violating someone who trusted them. A child has no cause to feel guilt or shame.

This is very hard for survivors to understand.

Because the survivor is often willingly carrying the guilt and shame for the person who abused them, they often tend to isolate their own basic goodness from themselves therefore also from other people. They can become over identified with being “bad”- banishing themselves from a feeling of wellbeing, peace and joy- the “garden” if you will.

Because we all experience shame, to share and expose shame is the first step in healing. But also, we need to put shame where shame belongs. If you are carrying shame for someone else, please begin to put it down.

As a Buddhist, I do not believe that we are ever banished from paradise. This feeling is available to us in as much as hell is available to us in our minds and feelings. So, the Bible does provide certain mythological clues for us- I just see it differently.

How I see it, both Adam and Eve ate this fruit. We are never, ever all alone in our humanity. Many things that we feel shame about have also been experienced by someone else. We share this experience it is never truly isolated.

I wonder, why didn’t Adam and Eve just talk to each other about the desire to taste what was “forbidden” to “break the rules.” Why didn’t the story say that Adam and Eve looked at each other in that moment and said, “OMG! ME, TOO!! I craved the exact same experience. I wanted to try something… I guess that I made a mistake? I am sorry. Please forgive me. I’ll know better next time.”

Also, we have a choice with shame. We can expose it to the light of day and be finished with it or we can use shame to turn away from ourselves and other human beings. This is truly what causes sickness, I believe.

Knowing that we have shame means that we also have a conscious. We can express positive remorse if we have caused harm to another. 12 step programs understand this in step 9- making amends. Part of the human condition is craving.

Craving in Buddhism is a poison or a klesha. We all know it, we all do it, we all live in a human realm where we rarely feel content. Welcome to planet earth. Why wouldn’t we want that fruit? The Universe set it up that way- it comes with the basic blueprint. The fruit existed in as much as both Adam and Eve existed. They were all there together. This is life.

When we liberate what we have hidden in the dark we also set ourselves free. Why? Because again, shames primary function is to isolate us from others. Once again, looking at the myth of Adam and Eve- we see that even from the beginning we are not meant to be alone. We grow from our experiences- that is why we have them. If we become stuck feeling shame we are missing the point.

Shame can be a straight jacket to creativity, to loving well and to seeing and experiencing what is beautiful in the world.

Like a cancer, shame can grow and take over healthy parts of our lives and personalities. What is the treatment? Knowing that you are not alone. Whatever you feel that you have done, there is probably someone out there who has also had your experience.

If you feel that you are carrying the guilt and shame for someone who is not responsible for their own, your life is worth finally laying it down. There are also others who have carried what you carry. Find others, speak to someone, find a group- do what you can to get out of your isolation. You deserve to step out of the shadow, even if it is your own. Life is here to be lived. Don’t allow the problem of shame to separate you from living and loving fully- and that includes the ability to be able to love and appreciate yourself.

Happy {Gentle} New Year!

January 7, 2016 by Katharine

Happiest of New Years wishes to fans and supporters of Holistic Jungian Psychotherapy and Energy Healing.

I sincerely hope that 2016 brings some peace after a rather challenging 2015.

Many people shared with me at the end of the year that 2015 was not an easy ride for them. I heard from a little bird that 2016 is supposed to carry with it some very intense energies of change.
With this in mind, I would like to share with you 10 gentile reminders for easing into a brand new year.

1. Always Be Gentle With Yourself No Matter What.

Times are hard. There is a whole lot going on in the world that is chaotic and frankly terrifying. Being gentle with yourself includes limiting just how much media you are taking in a daily basis and yes, this includes social media. Please remember that the news broadcasts on television make their money by gaining viewers. This means that they must put images and stories out that will capture our attention- much in the same way that a car crash grabs us. Remember, after a certain point, these images are traumatizing. Being gentle means knowing when enough is enough. Turn it off.

2. Prioritize Your Needs To What Is Most Essential.

Do not start off the new year with lists upon lists upon lists of things to do and accomplish. Every day focus on one manageable need and part of those needs should include self care.

3. Let It Be Simple.

This could be your mantra for the year. Post it on your forehead. Life is complicated enough. Where we place our focus adds or takes away from our stress. What IF things could actually be simple? What does that look like for you? Make this focus on simplicity a daily practice.

4. Create Creative Play Time.

Cultures that thrive are ones where individuals spend time creating. Because we live in a materialist society, we feel that what we create needs to be “valuable.” I say, WHO CARES! Remember art class in elementary school? Get out some clay, finger paint, crayons, glue- make a collage. Spend time using your hands and senses away from the keyboard.

5. Allow for change.

Essentially, this means- just get out of the way in your life. Let change happen.

6. Acceptance Is Your Friend and Ally.

What we do not accept we resist. We have a choice. Are there things in your life that would free you up if you just accepted them?

7. Be Clear

Learn to find your yes and your no. Mean it when you say it. Remember, no is a complete sentence. It does not need an explanation.

8. Spend Quality Time In Nature.

20 minutes of walking outside does a wonder for the body, mind and spirit.

9. Forgive Yourself or Someone Else

Forgiveness is never about the other person. It is about creating more space in your own mind and heart for new things to happen. Resentments take up a whole lot of room and they are toxic to our systems.

10. Create Better Boundaries

Are there people, places and things in your life that you know make you sick? A boundary is like a gate. Put them outside of your energy field. You don’t need them. Replace those toxic things or people with those that are energy providing and life giving.

The New Year is a wonderful time to come in for some Energy Healing Work. If you have been wanting a fresh start with issues that have been intractable in the past, this is a perfect time to begin.

Also, for those of you who have gone through all 9 healing sessions with me in the past, remember that tune ups are $250.00 at any time you need to see me.

My private psychotherapy hours are almost filled to capacity. If you or someone you know is looking to enter into a Jungian Analysis, contact me quickly before I am all booked up.

Take things slowly and focus on what is most manageable regarding changes. Sometimes changes happen and we just need to surrender and sometimes we need to put some effort into wanting things to change. Either way, change demands its say. Support is always, always essential.

Got Grief?

October 27, 2015 by Katharine

Welcome to the gathering time of fall. Fall is a time for harvesting, bringing in what we have planted. It is a time to go within. The sunlight dims earlier in the day and for those of us not living in L.A. we have a clear experience of things beginning to flourish in brilliance and then die.

I recently experienced the loss of someone whom I loved very much. Death is something that our western culture does not relate directly with. This kind of fear around these natural cycles of life make us hold on tighter and tighter as if holding on will change the inevitable. Grief is a kind of harvesting of memories and losses of what will never be.

When we live in a culture that chooses to intellectualize, avoid or replace loss- we, ourselves feel that there is something wrong when we experience an ending and when we need help to grieve and heal.

We experience many, many losses over our lifetime. We lose jobs, pets, friends, lovers, marriages, our health, faith/belief systems and even our homes. These losses over our lifetime become what I call “collateral damages.”

As the quote in my header says, “I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off…..”

It is ok that your sock is sliding off. It is ok that you are experiencing loss. We all do. In fact, we experience loss more often than we care to admit. We just keep on walking while that sock is sliding right off; kind of uncomfortable, I’d say.

After my loss, I sought out my own “team” of healers. While grief is important to experience, we also need energetic or psychological/spiritual support during our experiences of loss. One of the truest things that my naturopath said to me was, “This is hard. This is painful AND people will STILL honk their horns at you on the road.” The world doesn’t stop for loss. We have families, jobs and responsibilities. It is this speed of life that creates even more difficulty for us.

It is said that we only need to try 1% to change. All it takes to acknowledge that we need help with our socks sometimes. I did. I boosted up my energy system with energy work and also took some flower essences to move me through the experience of loss. And, oh, how those gentle and restorative yoga classes helped. I just kept a tissue close by my side. I also needed to talk. Grief needs a place to tell the story. Speaking about grief lightens the load. We were not meant to experience grief alone or in isolation. This is not healthy. Speak of the person you lost. Say their name often. Find someone who is willing to listen to the stories over and over and over again. P.S… the book TEAR SOUP written by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen is a must. The thinking capacity of those is grief is diminished, so, I appreciated the colorful simplicity to the story. I didn’t have to think.

Loss is natural. Our relationship and disconnect from it isn’t. Sometimes we just need a place to process and to heal- to allow all of those “collateral damages” to work themselves out instead of pushing away our discomfort.

During the month of November I am offering 25% off all of my healing packages {especially for those of you who have been, or know someone close who has been diagnosed with cancer} in memory of the dearest loved one that I have lost. Don’t let your sock sit at the bottom of your shoe. Come on in for some help getting your shoes off.
Hope to see you soon and may your own healing continue to unfold!

You Deserve To Be Right Here….

July 21, 2015 by Katharine

One of the issues that I see most often when working with sensitive men, women and children is the energetic issue of feeling safe enough to inhabit their own bodies. It is also true that they do not feel that they deserve to be here on earth. In other words, they aren’t entirely living here.

How this imbalance often shows up is in the emotional body as anxiety and a general feeling of being ungrounded.

The first chakra in our bodies is located at the base of the spine. This chakra is our “root” chakra. The sanskrit name is Muladhara and it’s central issue is related to survival.

Our chakras, or energy centers in the body (I work with a 12 chakra system), have certain inalienable rights that are linked with them. We often think of this first chakra as being connected to stability, grounding, physical health, prosperity and trust, but it also says something essential in our development- “I deserve to be here.”

The developmental stage connected with first chakra issues are linked to being in the womb to about 1 year old. This is the chakra of earth and the physical body. When we are in the womb, our physical body is forming. We are becoming a form. In utero, we are entirely dependent on our mother’s bodies- her form. If, for whatever reason, our mothers were anxious about being pregnant, anxious about our birth, or not particularly interested in being pregnant we can be deeply influenced as we develop. We may feel ambivalent about what is occurring on a cellular level. When this chakra is unbalanced, meaning developmentally there has been trauma from before one is born or from birth into one’s first year of life, issues manifest and centralize around the basic need of self preservation.

How this might look psychologically is being overly focused on our physical body and material world. The story of Goldilocks comes to mind: “Is is too warm or too hot?” “Is this too cold?” “I am always hungry or never hungry”, “I am afraid that I will never have enough money (read security).” One might also appear to be restless, spacy, perhaps underweight or have issues of anorexia. On the other hand, this chakra may show this kind of imbalance in the opposite direction of showing excessive characteristics such as heaviness, sluggishness, obesity, issues around hoarding, an overly focused energy around materialism, and even greed.

When I contemplate this expressions of an imbalanced 1st chakra, I do not need to just think of who might consult me for healing work. I think of our culture as a whole.

This disconnect from a healthy feeling of “I deserve to be here” might create the reality that we find ourselves in as a collective. If I don’t feel that I truly deserve to be here, I might not care about how I treat my environment. I might not see earth as a living, breathing body like my own. I might mistreat her or disregard her. I might not even trust her. I might not know what or when is enough. I don’t feel safe enough to be content with that I already have. I need more to feel safe. Landfills are full of things that we don’t need and probably never did. We might over fish our oceans until there is nothing left. We might see the financial bottom line as being more important than leaving our children an earth that they can inhabit.

When this first chakra is balanced, we can begin to feel safe being in our bodies and on Earth as our home- our natural Mother. We can also recognize when we are simply hungry and just fill that need, or find a sweater when we are cold.

What I notice in those whom I do healing work with is that their anxiety is decreased immediately. People often report feeling less disconnected from themselves. One woman whom I did healing sessions with stopped having the impulse to compulsively shop for things that she did not need for herself or her son. Another woman decided that she actually hoarded her money. Although she was always in fear of not having enough, she decided that it was time to start spending money to enjoy her life and not just hide it under her mattress for a “rainy day.”

I see the chakras as a kind of spiritual staircase. We have to start at the beginning. We cannot climb the spiritual ladder unless we have a solid ground underneath our feet. Without this trust in our bodies and our being here on the earth- spiritual development might even become dangerous. If we skip this basic step of “I deserve to be here” then spiritual practices can become a means of escaping earth. This isn’t the point of a spiritual life at all.

At some point, even when you reach the highest spiritual high, you need to come back down to earth and live your life. If one is not trusting of this life more anxiety occurs. As I always say, our symptoms are all gifts. They alert us to where we are no longer balanced and where healing is pointed to. Are we ever finished healing? No, I don’t think so. I believe that this why we are all here in the first place- to heal and then to help others heal in whatever ways we can.